shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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