Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
