My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
