Pregnant stripper...not hot.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
