you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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