Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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