U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I think your dad took our porno
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
