I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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