she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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