dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
