Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
