I like to think it a success when the cops are called
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
