garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
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