The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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