I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize