Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Will exercising make me less horny?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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