Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
