Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
