I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
We are all done wearing pants today
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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