why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
