bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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