my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize