Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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