about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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