Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
