He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
