I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize