So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Randomize
