its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
