actually, I'm a sock model
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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