am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
