Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
