and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I just sharted jello shots
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