If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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