i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
