Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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