you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
