your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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