Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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