Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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