no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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