Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize