for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
