my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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