Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We just shotgunned beers for America
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
