weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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