bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
