Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
