jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
