we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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