there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
