after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
