the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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