Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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