i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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