Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
