One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
