At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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