Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
And then he peed in my hair
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